THE EOMMA TALKS – ‘Me, Mind &Myself’
We have all been in that place: trying desperately to get rid of a habit or behaviour, that we know is holding us back from achieving our goals. But try as we may, the habit just won’t leave and this can be frustrating. The truth is that we are busy tackling so many different issues in our life when what we need the most is to have a good understanding of how we function. Once we have the right foundation, we can use this knowledge to address issues of finance, relationship, fear etc. The tripartite relationship is a topic I believe you should know to help you understand why you are, where you are.
I have chosen to title this discussion ‘Me, Mind and Myself’ as these three words describe and ascribe who we think we are, the thoughts that have residence inside us, and how other people see us. They are three dimensions of the same person – almost similar to how the bible describes God (three persons in unity) – and I will be breaking down my understanding of their individual meanings below.
‘Me’ is your personal view of who you are, your sense of identity. ‘Me’ says ‘this is who I am’, my: likes, loves, hates, must haves, dos & don’ts. This created perception is a person, and it is positioned in the driving seat of your life. You continuously measure your failures and successes against your ‘Me’ because this view has a vaulted position of trust. The responses and actions taken by, ‘Me’ can trigger pleasant or unpleasant outcomes.
‘Mind’ is the marketplace for thoughts. What it sells (ideas or opinions and images) is intangible at first, and its services are free of charge. Its’ stalls (the type of thoughts you can have) are the same for everyone, and supplies whatever ‘Me’ is looking for. Be it: relationship, finance, shelter, forgiveness, kindness, worry, appetites for food, sex or drugs, happiness, clothing, hopelessness, fear, wealth, poverty, judgements, gratitude, suicide, religion, death, goals or aspirations, purpose, vision, entrepreneurialism etc. Like the Google search engine, whenever you go information shopping, your mind will give you the most popular & frequently searched information according to your personalised cookies and algorithm. We mostly ignore and dismiss our thoughts believing they are harmless.
‘Myself’ asks “who am I?” This is answered by assessing your interaction with people, devoid of this you will only be referring to your ‘Me’. Unlike ‘Me’ or your ‘Mind’, ‘Myself’ is physical, people cannot see your ‘Me’ or your ‘Mind’. In certain circumstances, when there is a gap between ‘Me’ & ‘Myself’, people say things like: “I don’t like who I am”, or “I like who I am and everyone else’s opinion about me is wrong”. We often struggle with this person (‘Myself’) as it is always in conflict with ‘Me’.
This tripartite relationship is complicated and leaves one with the feeling of helplessness as controlling them is challenging. Last year, I had prepared a topic on the mind titled “Running for the Exit” but I realised this would have been premature as this discussion required an understanding of the importance of identity – one of God’s foundational principles.
The mind is believed to dictate our actions and identity. As a child, I was taught to make use of my head. I understood this to mean that control laid in my brain. So, I would constantly engage my mind, assuring myself that my constant engagement was justified. In actuality, I should have engaged with ‘Me’ as how I perceive who I am will determine what thoughts to take from the ‘Mind’.
Through the senses we interpret, cultivate and respond to everything we come across. The mind is indiscriminate and does not create your likes, dislikes, dos & don’ts. Its’ wares are not supplied by peoples’ influence or your environment: alcoholic, abusive, absent father/mother or religion etc. Whatever thoughts you take from the ‘Mind’ you own: ‘Me’ is the sole proprietor of your thoughts – your ‘Mind’ just hands them over to you for your use based on your ‘Me’.
Society argues that the environment creates the individual’s thoughts. Society tells us that when people grow up surrounded by bad people, they too will turn out bad. So, they go to the marketplace and buy bad eggs to reinforce this thinking. This presentation is a trap. A person can acknowledge that an environment or influence has not been a positive one, but through their ‘Me’ they can choose to take thoughts from their ‘Mind’ in order to create a positive outcome in their lives. None of this is simple but I know it is achievable.
The challenges I faced as a teenager growing up in a difficult environment made me search out a different path at the age of eight. I just could not accept my environment and the habits of people around me. Whilst my family did not go to church, I decided to go to church with our neighbours. The bible stretched my imagination and beliefs. It offered me a different, and better, world thus I chose to believe. Whenever I was worried or fearful about a situation, I will say 2 Timothy 1:7 loudly: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”. These words were not only reassuring but it also made ‘Me’ realise that I was not alone. By speaking the words out, it felt like there was someone else in the room with me and gave me inner strength. It worked each time and so it became my practice and habit, therefore leading to positive outcomes. I expanded to more positive words, particularly when I remembered that societal argument is that a bad environment equals a bad person. To reassure ‘Me’ the bible says it is possible to renew the ‘Mind’. In Romans 12:2 the bible passage reads: “do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Further, the book of Deuteronomy, 30:19, tells us that “life and death, blessings and curses have been set before us and that we should choose life, so that you and your children may live”. What makes one choose so poorly? I was able to answer this question by exposing the conflict between ‘Me’ and ‘Myself’. A conflict created by the sheer ignorance of not knowing who I am (my sense of identity), lack of clarity of my purpose, and reasons to support my likes and dislikes were intermingling factors that encouraged this. By dealing with these three issues, my visits to the marketplace (the ‘Mind’) was streamlined. ‘Me’ visits the stalls I know society may not offer, but can be procured in stalls in line with the word of God.
Society says the mind controls ‘Me’, but the bible says the opposite: ‘Me’ can control the ‘Mind’ by being watchful and confessing the right words over a situation. Peter the Apostle adds: “be alert and of sober mind. Whose version do you believe? I believe ‘Me’ can tell the ‘Mind’ what to do, and I demonstrate this in words and actions and perform daily conscious cleanse: exchange lingering negative ideas or images with more beautiful words. Thankfulness and gratitude regardless of the circumstance is a practice not a choice. The power lies in your hands, what do you choose. Don’t waste another day not spending quality time getting to know ‘Me’ better. Remember the words we speak over our life and situation make a difference. I would like to add that you recognise that it is difficult to do this relying solely on your strength. If you humble yourself and trust God, he will give you the ability to endure until your mind is renewed. I believe you can change your cookies and algorithm so that ‘Me’ (your sense of identity) will live better.
EOMMA
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